


A Mission of the Utmost Importance

by lafiametta



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: AU, Christmas Shopping, Crack Fic, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 15:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8997127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafiametta/pseuds/lafiametta
Summary: The Rogue One team has been sent on a special, top secret acquisitions mission by Senator Mon Mothma. Naturally, complications ensue. (a.k.a. the Christmas Shopping AU nobody asked for)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not quite sure how to explain this. All I can say is that it was in my head, screaming to get out, and now it's here. So... enjoy!

“Damn it, Kaytoo, I need some assistance here,” Cassian barked into his comlink. “I don’t even know what direction we’re headed in.”

Eventually, the droid’s mechanized voice emerged in a haze of static.

“The plans indicate you should continue past women’s apparel and the electronics sector should be on your left.”

Cassian glanced around him, taking in the racks of brightly-colored clothing, hoping that this was what women on this planet wore, if only for the assurance that they weren’t all completely lost. He could hear the faint strains of tinkly, irritatingly repetitive music emerging from the ceiling’s sound system.

“And how will we know exactly what to get?” he asked.

“The list of required items has been uploaded onto your datapad.”

Cassian quickly pulled up the information, not recognizing half of the things on the list. At least she had included pictures – that would make the mission slightly easier.

This wasn’t his usual kind of assignment – and he definitely wasn’t used to working with a group like this – but Senator Mothma had pulled him aside the day before and tasked him with reassembling the Rogue One team for a mission, as she called it, “of the utmost importance.” He was to lead them to a distant planet, far beyond the reaches of the Empire, well-known for its proclivity for trade and commerce. At a particular location, they would be able to find all the items the Senator requested. Get what you need quickly and quietly, she had said, without drawing unwarranted attention. If, for a moment, he had possessed a sliver of curiosity about the items in question and why the Senator was authorizing an unofficial mission in order to acquire them, Cassian knew better than to ask, and the Senator, as always, betrayed nothing in her even gaze.

He was a soldier: it wasn’t his job to ask the why of things. Although for a mission requiring unobtrusiveness and stealth, he was beginning to think she had asked for the wrong team. None of them seemed capable of keeping a low profile, aside from perhaps Baze, and even he had a tendency to part crowds simply by his authoritative glares. Chirrut was given to attention-grabbing stunts, Bodhi was far too excitable for his own good, and Jyn… well, she was distracting for entirely different reasons.

They had changed clothes and left their weapons in the ship, and Cassian had likewise instructed K-2SO to remain there – this was a primarily humanoid planet, and if their goal was to blend in, being in the company of an oversized droid would be of little help – even though he would have preferred Kay’s in-person strategic analysis to what could be conveyed in bits and pieces over the comlink.

The location they had been sent to was a busy mercantile, far larger than any shop Cassian had ever seen, and while he wasn’t sure what would have possessed its proprietors to install a large bullseye-shaped icon right on the side of the building – were they deliberately trying to make themselves look like easy prey? – it certainly made the place more convenient to find. He hadn’t been prepared for the teeming crowds, though, and even inside the shop, he found himself weaving between customers and their large red carts, overflowing with merchandise.

“Are there always this many people?” he asked into the comlink.

“Records indicate that you’ve arrived on a day preceding a local religious holiday. The custom involves giving and receiving gifts, primarily from family members and close friends. Apparently,” the droid added, disdain audible even through the comlink, “many residents of this planet feel comfortable delaying their acquisition of those gifts until the last possible moment.”

Cassian nodded in understanding, although he realized as he glanced up and down the aisle that he had already lost a member of his team.

“Jyn? Jyn, where did you go?”

He spun around, reaching reflexively for his blaster, only to remember that he had left both weapon and holster behind on the ship. At least Jyn hadn’t wandered too far: she was standing in front of a display of what could only be described as patterned sleeping apparel, although how anyone could sleep in such revealing clothing was beyond him.

“Oh, wow,” she said, picking up a set of matching shorts and sleeveless top, both covered in tiny moons and stars. Turning to face him, she held them up against the curves of her body, her lips ticking upwards in a tiny smile. “Isn’t this cute?”

“Yes… No.” He gulped. “C’mon, we don’t have time for this.”

Eventually, they made it to electronics, where they located several things from the list: a wearable activity monitor, a small entertainment module and several accompanying programs (as an intelligence officer, he found himself more than intrigued by the one titled _Assassin’s Creed_ ), along with a large video projection screen that Chirrut and Jyn had to struggle to fit into their cart. The trousers Jyn had changed into were more form-fitting than her normal pair, and Cassian allowed himself one tiny glance as she stretched and lifted before he turned his gaze very pointedly up towards the ceiling tiles.

Next up were cooking appliances, and some product of unknown use listed only as a Keurig brewing system.

“Keurig?” Jyn wrinkled her nose. “Sounds too much like Krennic to me. What’s it for, anyway?”

Cassian scrolled along his datapad. “Makes single servings of caf,” he informed her.

But as he glanced along the aisle, he couldn’t find what he was looking for – in fact, there was almost nothing left, the shelves having been stripped nearly bare.

“Kay,” he muttered into his comlink, his heart sinking, “it looks like they’re out of Keurig brewing systems.”

“One moment.” There was a rough pause. “That item is currently in stock at a nearby establishment, Bed Bath and Beyond, point six klicks from your present location.”

“Found one!” yelled Bodhi, extracting a large box that had been tucked away behind a display of motorized mixing bowls. Cassian let out a sigh of relief as the young pilot loped back and deposited the box into their cart; there was no way he wanted to go through all of this in another shop.

Their luck held in women’s shoes as well: there had been one last pair of fuzzy slippers left on the shelf, and out of the corner of his gaze, Cassian could see a sharp-eyed, rather determined-looking young man heading right for them. Quicker than anyone could have anticipated, however, Baze propelled himself directly in the customer’s path, landing soundlessly on his feet and sending the young man scurrying back to whatever part of the shop he had come from. The warrior-guardian, for his part, looked altogether triumphant as slid the slippers from the shelf and nestled them into the recesses of the cart.

At one point, after realizing they had forgotten something in an earlier sector, Cassian hesitantly sent Jyn on a solo run to retrieve the item in question. Thankfully, she returned promptly, without incident, brandishing an oversized, incredibly soft-looking robe, deep crimson in color. For a moment, he wondered what she might look like wearing it, and then, before he took a deep breath and made himself stop thinking altogether, he wondered what she might look like wearing _only_ it.

Eventually, they found everything on the list, which was good, as their cart was near to full. But as Cassian glanced around, his heart raced to see that their team had somehow been reduced from five to four.

“Bodhi, where’s Chirrut?” he asked, trying not to sound overly panicked.

“He went up to the front, to the payment center,” the pilot answered. “He said something about sensing how long the lines were, and that he would hold our place until we were finished.”

Cart in tow, they quickly made their way back to the front of the shop, only to find the blind guardian in a crush of people, surrounded by a multitude of bleary-eyed customers, their overfull carts, and a handful of screaming children, all punctuated by the non-stop chirping of the electronic scanners. It was enough to send anyone to the brink of madness. Chirrut, however, was a tiny island of peace in a sea of teeming humanity.

“ _I am one with the Force and the Force is with me_ ,” he intoned as he swayed gently back and forth. “ _I am one with the Force and the Force is with me_. _I am one with the Force and the Force is with me_.”

The final step of the mission – making payment – was the part that concerned Cassian the most. If there was any point they might be discovered, it was the most likely, as it would involve having to interact with one of the workers in the shop. As they approached the front of the line, he held his breath, hoping that none of his companions would do anything more to alert suspicion.

The young woman who began scanning their items, however, didn’t seem to notice anything unusual.

“Doing some last-minute Christmas shopping?” she asked cheerfully as she gazed at their purchases lurching along the conveyer belt.

Cassian froze; he hadn’t really prepared himself for more than just an impersonal transaction. “Um, yes… yes, we are...” – he glanced at her nametag – “...Roberta. We are doing some last-minute Christmas shopping.” He could have kicked himself at how idiotic he sounded. He was a spy, for crying out loud: even if he had no idea what she was talking about, he should be able to sound like he did.

“Hope you found everything you were looking for.”

“We did, thank you,” he replied as he handed over a thin piece of plastic with the name “Mon Mothma” embossed at the bottom. This planet, he had learned, did not accept galactic credits, and payments were primarily made with personalized electronic cards that were accepted in no other system. He could only begin to speculate on how the Senator had managed to acquire one.

“Merry Christmas,” she said, handing him back the card and a long imprinted slip of paper.

“Merry Christmas to you as well,” he replied, wondering if that was all that was necessary to complete this particular interaction, and from the polite smile on her face and the way her gaze quickly darted to the next customer in the line, he could tell that it was.

“May the Forc–” Bodhi blurted out before Cassian was able to elbow him sharply in the ribs.

Like a one-man Tatooine sandstorm, Baze hastily loaded their plastic bags full of goods back into the cart, and just like that the five of them were finished, needing nothing more for this mission than to return home in one piece.

They made it across the wide paved transit space and back onto the ship, quickly depositing everything into the cargo hold. For his part, Cassian was glad that he had no immediate plans to visit this planet in the near future. It was far too crowded and chaotic: a ridiculous place with rather ridiculous customs.

But perhaps there _was_ something to the gift-giving, he thought as he climbed up into the ship’s cockpit. That was a custom he wouldn’t mind bringing back with him to Yavin 4. He smiled inwardly, thinking of the matching set of sleep apparel he had grabbed off the rack and secretly tucked into the bottom of the cart, wondering when might be the ideal time to surprise her with it.


End file.
